wow. things are really getting shittier.
I just realised something about myself…actually my dear friend found out about it..that.. I don’t trust girls anymore. as in girl friends. Not that I entirely dont trust. You know what I mean, like I trust them just that not to the point where I trust them with my life.It’s hard to open up now to any girl friends. I don’t feel comfortable telling them EVERYTHING. I build a fence around me. like a wall. Maybe because since the thing happened back in 2006/2007. I can’t trust anybody. I only open up to boys whom I share a relationship with.Not boy as in just friends but boyfriends. like S. I told him everything. He was always there for me. He did alot of sacrifices. I felt comfortable and he was my bestfriend in the entire world. My only pillar of strength. Now that it’s gone, everything seems to crumble down. There’s nobody to guide me.
I feel that boys listen to you more and they give you a different perspective about things. Girls friends are just…. I dont know. Very hard to find them being reliable. For all you know, they will turn their backs on you just like that. No wonder I dont have a very very close girl friend (like a bestfriend). I can’t accept any girls to be my bestfriend eversince that day. But ofcourse, I do love all the girl friends that i’m quite close to. However, just to reassure, i’ll never tell them every single thing even if they feel that I tell them all. It won’t be the same like S. or maybe B. Well, B is a different story loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. He is too cute to understand whatever i say.
